Full Circle

I'm back where I started. Single, drifting and stressed.

It's been a little over a year since I last wrote here. Funny how I pretty much managed to come back where I once started. Makes me wonder if I'll end up back here again in 2008. Don't get me wrong, a lot happened between 2006 and 2007.

For the first time, I was in a romantic relationship and the feeling was mutual. I wanted her to be the one and it seemed like she was. Maybe because of her, I found direction or a sense of purpose. I wasn't drifting day to day, I had an idea where I wanted to go. So the stress wasn't so bad because she was there to make it better.

But then, things began to change. Or rather, they didn't. She says, I went back to how it was before we were a couple. I don't really know what to believe except that it was my fault. I knew it was my fault. I just wish she had let me known sooner rather than keeping it bottled up inside.

Now I'm drifting again. I keep looking back to shore, wondering if she's there waiting for me. She says we can still be friends but I have hard time believing her. Only because I know she won't reach out to me. She's a strong woman; she doesn't need me. She'll find her happiness. I know she will.

I wonder where mine is though.