Renewed and Resolved

I began the weekend feeling like crap. There came several instances for me to step up and strut my stuff...but I either backed out or became indifferent. Worse, I felt I disappointed people who looked to me as a role model. I felt like I didn't desrve my position, that someone could do a better job than I.



But then my agents and I went to IO as our last hurrah before we all separated with the new schedule. And I marvelled how well I had brought them together. If grades were the only way to judge success, then I would have to agree with the premise that I am a mediocre supervisor. But I am thankful that it is not.



Yes, I've made mistakes. Our instinctual reaction is to quit, leave before we do anything worse. I even drafted a resignation letter just out of impulse. But as I wrote it, I realized that I would be setting a bad precedent. If I was going to quit, I wasn't going to do so on a low note. I was going to leave knowing that people would remember me not for my failures but for my successes. I wanted them to think of me fondly.



Now I feel renewed. Like anyone who has ever been sick of failure, I resolved to change not how I am work but how I am in life.

I've realized that I've always had opportunties to change and do better for myself.

I've realized that there are people who like me and love me.

I've realized that I don't deserve to be second best unless I settle for it.