Why do Relationships Fail?
Sam and I had an interesting conversation the other day. It's a common topic: why do relationships fail. We both agreed that communication is the key and that by not talking about what people want in a relationship, they end up making mistakes that ruin it.
But the question is, why don't people want to talk things out? I believe it's because people are afraid. Talking can lead to honesty and honesty leads to vulnerability. People, for the most part, don't like being vulnerable because they get hurt, more often than not.
It's also about pride. To have that "conversation" means that there is something wrong and that's something most people would not want to admit. They don't want to think that they or their partner might be doing something wrong. They'd prefer to live in ignorant bliss than admit that what they have is less than perfect.
But just because relationships are not perfect, it doesn't mean that they can't work. You just have to understand whether or not it's worth the effort of maintaining. There are some relationships that are harmful for you but there are those that help you grow. And just because the relationship stops or changes, it doesn't mean that it failed.
A lot of us have a preconception of what a relationship is or how it should work. Take romantic relationships. A lot of us want our significant other to be our everything and vice-versa. Yet, have you ever really thought what that means? It means making that person depend on you. What happens when you go away or when the relationship works? What happens to your everything?
I'm not saying it's wrong. I'd congratulate any couple who could be each other's everything and stay together. But I've realized how much you are depriving that person of who they are by wanting to be so integral to their lives. Wouldn't you rather see that person live and grow and be everything he or she was meant to be? To be connected and yet be two separate beings?
But the question is, why don't people want to talk things out? I believe it's because people are afraid. Talking can lead to honesty and honesty leads to vulnerability. People, for the most part, don't like being vulnerable because they get hurt, more often than not.
It's also about pride. To have that "conversation" means that there is something wrong and that's something most people would not want to admit. They don't want to think that they or their partner might be doing something wrong. They'd prefer to live in ignorant bliss than admit that what they have is less than perfect.
But just because relationships are not perfect, it doesn't mean that they can't work. You just have to understand whether or not it's worth the effort of maintaining. There are some relationships that are harmful for you but there are those that help you grow. And just because the relationship stops or changes, it doesn't mean that it failed.
A lot of us have a preconception of what a relationship is or how it should work. Take romantic relationships. A lot of us want our significant other to be our everything and vice-versa. Yet, have you ever really thought what that means? It means making that person depend on you. What happens when you go away or when the relationship works? What happens to your everything?
I'm not saying it's wrong. I'd congratulate any couple who could be each other's everything and stay together. But I've realized how much you are depriving that person of who they are by wanting to be so integral to their lives. Wouldn't you rather see that person live and grow and be everything he or she was meant to be? To be connected and yet be two separate beings?
posted by Aldwin Christopher at 2:03 AM
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