What a way to start the year...

I've been expecting for this day to arrive. I've dreaded it the same way a boy dreads circumcision or woman finding a lump on her breast. Sometimes you hope never having to face it. But sometimes, you get tired of avoiding it or waiting for it to happen. So you face it, just to get it over with.

It hurts but not enough to bring me to tears. Does that mean my love wasn't real? Or has time put enough distance between us that it no longer hurts as it should. I say that I'm happy for her but am I being honest? I knew this day would come. I've come to accept that it just wasn't meant to be, but does it make it any easier for me?

I know I was holding on to a shred of hope things would go back to the way they were but I should have known better. Ah, well, maybe it was real. After all, how could anything but love made me change the way I think about love and relationships.

So my silence is broken. Things will go back to the way they once were...just before I stopped writing here. What a way to start the year...